


"Your heart's too big for your body. It's why you won't fit inside."

by SlitheredFromEden



Series: "OCD Got Nothing On Me (Yeah Right)" a memoir by Arthur Pendragon [17]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: M/M, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-21
Updated: 2016-04-21
Packaged: 2018-06-03 01:01:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6590284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlitheredFromEden/pseuds/SlitheredFromEden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur comforts a small friend in the waiting room. Then someone comforts him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"Your heart's too big for your body. It's why you won't fit inside."

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Crybaby by Melanie Martinez

Arthur silently counted each tick and tock as the hands slowly circled within the clock. It was a slow day at Doctor Leon's office Arthur found in difficult to stay within his seat. Which exactly why he was counting and observing every movement the clock made. 

"You're like like me." A small boy with wild blond hair and dark eyes took the seat beside him. He looked a little older than Ellie. 

"Excuse me?" 

"You count a a a a lot. Like me!" His deep brown eyes widened in fascination. 

"Oh! You have OCD." 

"Yup." He popped the 'p' then frowned. "I don't like like like it though." He sighed. 

"I don't like it either." Arthur told him. 

"I'm Devon. Today is my first time visiting visiting Doctor Leon." 

Arthur noticed the boy's pockets. They seemed to be filled with small balls. "What are are those in your pocket?" 

"My marbles." He patted his pocket. "They make me feel feel right." 

"You have to have them, right?" 

"Yeah!" His smile grew. Arthur knew that look, it was the look of releaved disbelief. Devon finally found someone who understood him. "Do you have marbles, too?" 

"I had marbles when I was younger."

"Not anymore? How?" 

"I just just just just don't need them anymore." 

"I always need my my my marbles." Devon told Arthur. "I can't think of what I'll do without them." 

"Devon!" A woman stomped on over. "What did I say about bothering people? I'm so sorry sir." 

"Mom! He's like me me me me !" Devon told her excitedly. 

"That's not a reason to annoy someone." She scolded the pouting boy. 

"It's no bother, really really." Arthur said politely. "I understand what he's going through." 

"Then you could help me understand. I'm Morgause." 

"Arthur Pendragon." He accepted her hand. "What you need to know?" 

"What my baby is going through. I know I can wait for the doctor or search online but want to ask someone with experience." 

"Kids with OCD become preoccupied with with with whether something could be harmful, dangerous, wrong, or dirty — or with thoughts that bad stuff could happen." Arthur tried not to squirm the way he usually does when he gets uncomfortable. 

"Tell me more." She urged him. 

"With OCD, upsetting or scary thoughts or images, called obsessions, pop into a person's mind and are hard hard hard hard to shake. Kids with OCD also might worry about things not being in order or just right. They may worry worry about losing things, sometimes feeling the need to collect these items, even though they may seem useless to other people  people." 

"That really explains his marbles." She turned to her son and pressed a kiss against his hair. "Go play baby." 

"Always tell him you love him, okay?" Arthur's tone was serious. "Don't stop stop stop stop loving your son." 

"Is that your mom did for you?" 

"My mom died having me." Arthur breathed out. "My dad never cared." 

"I'm sorry." 

"Please, just love Devon. Never ever ever ever stop." Arthur held eye contact with her. "Because if you do he'll end up like me." 

"You seem fine." She replied. 

"It's because over time masking my emotions became the only thing I'm good at." Arthur laughed dryly. "Which which which explains why I'm here in the first place." 

"Believe me when I tell you that you have so much to live for. First of all you're here, trying to take control of your life. It must be for someone." 

"Yeah, my fiancé." Arthur smiled brightly. 

"See! I bet whoever it may be loves you dearly." Morgause smiled softly. "And you love them." 

"I do. So much." Arthur choked out. "But sometimes it feels like I'm a a a burden." 

"It isn't your OCD that's making you feel like a burden, Arthur. It's your love for your fiancé. It's how I felt when I thought I wasn't loving my husband enough when we were dating in college. Trust me it's your heart telling you that your in love." 

"You think so?" Arthur asked with wide eyes. 

"DEVON BLACK!" The receptionist called out. "Doctor Leon will see you now." 

"Oh Arthur, I know so." She squeezed Arthur's hand before taking her son's hand (after he stood four times and sat three times.) 

Arthur leaned his head back against the wall. His attention slowly regravitating toward the clock. But he didn't count each tick and tock. He flooded his mind with thoughts of Merlin and Ellie. 

Arthur certainly wasn't surprised when his muscles relaxed and his mind tuned out all the distractions around him. Thoughts of his wedding day, the day him and Arthur come together as one being. 

Their breaths will align..

Their hearts will beat as one.. 

Their bodies will tangle comfortably every night with a worry..

They'll be at peace. Merlin will unknowingly chase away Arthur's fears and worries of being alone. 

They'll be a perfect little family, plus one if Merlin want more. 

They'll be happy surrounded by friends and family. 

He'll be happy. 

Arthur sighed peacefully. His wedding day can't come soon enough. 

"Arthur Pendragon." The receptionist called out. "Doctor Leon will see you now." 

Morgause winked at him as the passed each other. Mouthing the words 'Stay strong, Arthur.' 

Arthur nodded his head stiffly, 'I will and thank you.' 

A sense of strength surged through his body. He knew he had Morgause to thank for that. But he also knew that it was a very slim chance of running into each other again. 

Then again... Arthur was lucky enough to meet her. Only God knows if they'll encounter again. Arthur was greeted with Leon's familiar smile. 

"Welcome, Arthur. How have you been since I last saw you?" 

"Well..." He settled into his seat. "Where can I start?"

"How about where you feel comfortable with." Leon compromised. 

"I visited the old bridge a couple of days ago..." 

**Author's Note:**

> I think I should end this into the next three parts. You'll have a three updates of the wedding extravaganza!  
> I don't want to ruin this story by stretching it out.. I'm ending in its glory.  
> Sorry to dissapoint.


End file.
